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词十四创作班第三讲灵犀组作业,点评:慕雪 |
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点评
问好诗友,学习态度该调整一下了,都创作班了 还掌握不好格律。离、娇出律。“燕离去”不妥了,长夜来的急。总之,在时间跨度上有好几处错误,逻辑上也有点不通。再好好琢磨一下,结构按排,语言都有待提高,加油!
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