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古典诗十八期绕梁组第九讲作业帖 | 
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 点评
梦云同学,你好。
伴苍穹,伴字不准确,情怀老和最后一句不太合,严寒与西北风对于恶劣环境程度上还是重复了的。再斟酌下。 
 
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 点评
问诗友好!启承转结,章法可取,唯遣词造句须炼,如;志趣?如狄征炎热抗寒冬,有喊口号老干体之嫌,不如纳写实写,以情结,或以景结较佳,个见! 
 
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