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古典诗十七.五律第21讲冬组作业帖 |
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点评
你这首看着挺好吃的,首联没毛病,点题,颔联不工整,颈链吸引力不够,没味道了,最后点题,但是和夕阳没关系,吃完螺蛳粉想唱歌?醉夕阳?那是鱼叟归来,你这篇前后不呼应,有点断片儿,加油加油,改好,就行
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