楼主: 云淡风清
|
古典词十三基础班第七讲袷衣组作业贴评阅;倾城2-12,红鲤13后, |
点评
问好飘零叶!上片不错,意念做起,曾经如何。下片结的不是很好,前三句已经过于笼统了,结句应收回,既然爱月,就该顺势以爱月做结,把梦收回,也做前后呼应。个见
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2024-12-22 00:46 , Processed in 0.532939 second(s), 22 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.