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词十七初级班第十二讲驭风组作业贴 |
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点评
一番梦境也道出分离愁苦,梦醒又入梦,却也难得。过片相称稍有不妥,毕竟天上人间两重天。人在凡尘愁苦较多,即使飞踏月宫又有何益,碧海青天夜夜心,取舍更加复杂。遣词造句还需加强,俗语还需尽量避免。个见勿怪。
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