楼主: 诗雨后柳
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古典词十九初级班采莲组第十讲作业 |
点评
上景下情,布局合理,只是“雁”与“鸿”重复,“身后悄”让人费解。
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点评
词此的基调闲淡,赞个。下片第二句,试改为:一路歌高唱。其余我觉得很好。言错请见谅
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