楼主: 蒲公英168
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古典词二十二期创作班第七讲舒荷组作业贴 |
点评
无心之言:问好诗友,格律自检。首句才觉春来即可,下片长忆,永驻,又何言易忘情,分明是深情,本句应该是人应忘情才与结句通顺,,深情虽苦,别有其美,言情之篇,景结会更好,
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点评
无心之言:问好诗友,格律自检。首句言荷,与下拍无瓜葛,注意句子间递进连贯,此篇作者着重在远,何似珍惜眼前,
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