|
古典词研四期雪烟组第二十四讲作业帖 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
空间转换太快,从窗前,小沲边,河岸兰舟,闺房,石径,亭堂。杂乱无章,闺房和亭堂有凑韵之嫌。
“素笺心字,托白云远寄却茫茫。欲把瑶琴慢抚,奈何不见萧郎”。和上文的景语情语相矛盾。结尾平淡无味。
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-10-16 07:52 , Processed in 0.140238 second(s), 24 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.