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词十五创作班第一讲白石组作业贴,评阅老师:玫瑰5-10、蝶衣11-16、冷小月17-22、... |
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点评
整体平铺直叙,太实,长调虽须铺陈,所有的铺陈皆为情服务,过实便淡了词味。下片四五句,最好以领字领起后八字,可三六断句,可五四断句,上下片两处四字句宜偶
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