2381| 75
|
古典词十八期紫竹组第十二讲作业贴 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
问好诗友,旧事用观不合适,高层,平房,土屋,这几个词意思接近太浪费字了,整个词用词过于直白,词味和美感欠缺。
| ||
点评
问好如雪诗友,此词脉落不清晰,用词有待斟酌,行文时句与句之间念意思没有拓开,多读一些例词,加油!
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2024-12-22 17:33 , Processed in 0.109092 second(s), 22 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.