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古典词十九初级班折桂组第十讲作业 |
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点评
慧眼老师点评:问好学友!康出律。岁岁改成今岁更合理,重阳思念双亲,流畅明白!相思需要修改,多指男女相互爱慕,不思亲冲突,建议修改!
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点评
本文上景下情,意脉连贯,架构紧凑。以碧云天,黄叶地,菊花盛开之重阳秋色,引起人到中年、恬淡豁达之情怀。绝字用得太绝了吧?七情六欲真的能抛得干干净净吗?
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