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古典诗十七·七律第8讲夏组作业帖 |
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点评
写得言通意顺,唯“心惊”有些落空,虽“脚底千峦”之高仍不足为心惊之缘由。身倦与鸟语清没有关联性,且这一句当与上一句统一写人事活动,复写景则显得章法混乱。“愈上前头”亦须再打磨,写出人到高处视野开阔之感
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