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古典词十三期创作班第六讲浮槎组作业贴,评阅老师红鲤/双层,佬诡梓/单层 |
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点评
问好一叶蚁舟!此词格律正确,上片不错,对仗也好,“梦”字当炼;下片对仗稍差,功名、利禄最好不用,显俗了。加油!
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点评
问好雨后柳!此词格律正确,“藏乳燕”句欠妥,燕子很难见落在树上,这是观察不够了。其他尚可。加油!
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