916| 30
|
古典诗十七.五律第6讲秋组作业帖 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
问候同学,第四句孤平了,转字为不规格重字,这首诗总体就是凑痕颇多
| ||
点评
问候同学,这首总体不错,颔联露是名词动用,如果鸣换名词就更好了
| ||
点评
问候同学,这首总体不错,颔联对仗非常好,只是颈联上句孤平了
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-1-7 04:45 , Processed in 0.164623 second(s), 30 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.