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古典词二十二期创作班第二讲醉月组作业贴 |
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点评
问好学友,此词脉络清晰,转接合理,点赞。
首联不工,月亮、歌声白话,缺少词味。“丝寒”可修改,尾句好。整首词有修改空间。加油!
如有说的不对,请见谅。
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