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古典诗十八期春雷组第31讲作业贴 | 
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 点评
问好诗友!诗作首两句兴起,不错。转合两句因景生情,也不错。但是两处场景的转换不协调。另外凄,和栖韵脚音同。诗挤韵。虽问题不大,但绝句中尽量避免才好。 
 
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 点评
小诗用韵正确,转句“菡萏”“萏”平仄错误。小诗整体有画面感,但是遣词造句比较生涩,缺乏格律诗的韵味。 
 
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