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古典词23初级班第1讲锦瑟组作业处 |
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点评
安然掘评:淑云同学你好!词格律正确,前两句连接紧密,紧扣主题。只是用“弦”字来表示泉水的形态不妥。心朝海,转折还可,“怎恐化轻烟”表意不明。小小泉水也有奔向大海的心,五字句改“一梦逐潺湲”如何?
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