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古典词十三期创作班第六讲浮槎组作业贴,评阅老师红鲤/双层,佬诡梓/单层 |
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点评
问好卷帘人!此词格律正确,用韵无误,五字处对仗工稳,三字处尚可。小词读来上口,造景缜密,以景抒情,不疾不徐。雁字处当斟酌,一般秋景多用,斟酌。还不错,加油!
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点评
问好雪堂撷香!此词格律正确,三字五字对仗较工稳,整片读来上口,春来花未开,细雨绵绵,一番寂寞更引愁思。 “日”字撞韵,以后注意。整体还不错。赞!
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