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古典词十六初级班第十一讲木兰组作业贴 |
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点评
格律正确,句式正确,有规则重字。用的是去声韵。兴起。完整地表达了思念的情感。脉络清晰。过片做了较好的铺垫,衔接尚好。风格为冷色调,意境高雅。欣赏!
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点评
本词韵部应该是第九部哿、个。然而下片四个韵字全错。隔,韵部错误,本字属陌韵;托,韵部错误,本字属药韵;墨,韵部错误,本字属职韵;错,韵部错误,本字分属药遇韵。用韵错误,大忌。建议重写。 [/
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