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 | 词十七初级班第八讲抱月组作业贴 | 
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问好静心苑。这阙词不错。尤其上片燕子已留家信,说他乡寂寞,很惊艳的句子。 
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问好慕容秋水。上下阙好像有些隔景。上阙你用的是北园花路,下阙木兰舟又到水边,这样转不太好。 
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 |Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
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|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
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