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古典诗十四期五律第七讲夏组作业贴: | 
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 点评
谎言老师点评:
意脉乱,中间二联对仗不工,咏物诗,物即是我,我即是物,找好切入点。 
 
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 点评
首联扣题,抓住梅花报春特点,颈联描摹花枝,颈联从香气与神韵入手,意蕴畅通,尾联弱了。 
 
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 点评
远方老师评:脉络清晰,但遥看与暗香浮玉台不切实际,遥看梅是闻不到暗香的 
 
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 点评
远方老师评:虽无华丽词语,但意脉流畅 
 
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 点评
远方老师评:玉蝶,暗香,新诗,旧事,瘦骨,青衫,六平头了,忌,当避之。 
 
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 点评
远方老师评:意顺,惟寒霜烈与白
皑皑意重! 
 
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