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古典词十八初级班第十讲紫竹组作业贴 |
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点评
问好学友。整体结构合理,铺排流畅。但通篇物象繁多,有点显乱。比如湖水一般不是家宅中的景致,斜阳容易想到傍晚,但本意应是午后小憩。过片两句很喜欢。继续加油!
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