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古典诗十七基础第12讲春组作业帖 |
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点评
过于白话!有点儿倾向于打油诗了
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点评
阳春白雪简评:问好同学。平仄格律正确,起承衔接不紧密,后两句渐入主题,不错。遣词用字火候尚欠,加油!
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点评
阳春白雪简评:问好纳兰,平仄格律正确,此绝起承尚可,但整体读来没有流畅自然的的感觉,有堆砌之嫌,句意不畅,脉络不清。斟词用字尚欠火候,再炼更好,个见!
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