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古典元曲一期小桥组第十五讲作业贴 |
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点评
鸿鹄豪情老师点评:简评:起笔中规中矩,续文还好。驻马听,乔牌儿一段景文铺垫续文,带出思情,绮梦共游自然流畅。水仙子一段,长亭一句中远去一词可在斟酌。盼春一处见隔,废笔感觉。尾收尚可。文曲整篇还好,略显
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点评
鸿鹄豪情老师点评:简评:叙事入文,乱云一句衔接不是很流畅。下段笃志心坚一词可在斟酌。后续文笔多以叙事为主,重意之处见多。乔牌儿,水仙子一段还好。尾结与前面衔接同样问题。叙事言情多有复笔,行文见散,流畅
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