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古典词二十四期创作班第四讲绮霞组作业贴 |
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点评
问好学友:此词以“踏春”为题,应重笔描写春之“好景”的所见、所闻,而“木梁悬”“杜鹃叫”与踏春何干?个见。
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点评
问好学友:这阙词以乡愁为题,上阙以景起却未代入乡愁之意,却落在悲春之上,下阙虽以“家山千里外”点明而因篇幅不够宣染,从而导致结句的“愁”空泛。个见
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