2999| 123
|
古典词二十六期初级班望舒组第七讲作业帖 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
问好学友!小词意境佳,词句优美,写出了梅、雪的美妙姿态和隐含特性。下片第二句“横”出律,如将“纵横”和“萧瑟”调换下位置,是不是更好点?或将“萧瑟”弃之,换更合适的,使上下片更和谐统一。
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-8-31 15:13 , Processed in 0.140295 second(s), 25 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.