|
770| 68
|
古典词二十九期初级班雪岑组第十二讲作业帖 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
问好学友,小词符合题意,格律韵部无误,立意鲜明,脉络清晰,只是七字对偶处理欠佳,下片“离声暗逐雁南游”,“逐”字有些直白,全词意象多取自传统送别题材,构思遣词方面创新稍显不足,难以给人新鲜感。
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2026-7-12 09:21 , Processed in 0.343750 second(s), 25 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.