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古典词十一创作班第十讲棋组作业贴·评阅老师;单层【梅亭观雪】双层【灵儿】 |
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点评
上景下情,上下片衔接自然。只是,上片春景意象繁复,下片忽然初夏,有点愕然。
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点评
起拍燕影和飞的搭配不恰当。下片闲行,身回,移步,显繁复。结拍无来处,有突兀感。再斟酌。
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