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联十二草阁组第三十四讲作业贴(点评清荷老师) |
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点评
不错!个别字再炼会更好
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点评
前对句不错,后对句太直白,且拓展的不好,再炼会更好,个见哈
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点评
对句的个别词性理解的不恰当,对句前五没有拓展开,寄再炼,个见哈
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点评
对句前五没意义,联系不紧密,汇再炼,个见哈
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点评
对句和出句貌似不在一个空间哈,落叶是晚秋的景象,隔景了,个见哈
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