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古典诗十四期基础第十一讲夏组作业贴: |
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点评
宅雨轩老师点评:
问好新诗雨老师,起通过夜里打雷引出地名,承句下大雨,顺出自然。转入情,结以诗寄忧。整体布局还行,转结还需再精斟。比喻,“忧是……转句,再顺势而结,效果或许更好些。加油
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