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 | 词十七初级班第一讲抱月组作业贴 | 
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起拍没问题,感觉后两句有点跑偏了,您再看看是不是 
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问好,前三句都紧扣秋来写,到最后一句感觉有点远了,并且丰收喜与前面的景物描写也不太和谐 
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|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
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