| 
 
 2243| 32
 
 | 
古典诗十四期七律第四讲夏组作业贴: | 
  | ||
 点评
大群点评 
 
 | ||
 点评
大群点评 
 
 | ||
 点评
大群点评 
 
 | ||
 点评
远方老师点评:
通过此篇,可见作者父亲德行令人尊严。全篇略显平淡,笔力有些散,如能集中笔墨,人物会更丰满。难,挤韵了。 
 
 | ||
 点评
远方老师点评:
人物描述层层递进,形象丰满。不错的七律。用词上能更严谨点就好! 
 
 | ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-11-4 14:06 , Processed in 0.438476 second(s), 23 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.