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古典词二十二期初级班第十三讲归云组作业贴 |
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点评
问候学友!这期作业有些马虎了哈。春光里过片格律很受伤。遣词造句功力不足:客如麻可酌。七字句对仗欠工,三字偶意重。孩音梦,晦涩。结句可提升!联系学友多读例词!期待下期精彩!
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点评
问候学友!起拍风光无限,顺承游离主题之外,或许我没读懂学友要阐述的意思。过片衔接尚可,煞尾虽回扣主题,但词味寡淡。一几之见,仅供参考!
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点评
问候学友!作业格调清新!春光无限好。七字对工整,但徐行与小憩可酌。过片三字偶自然流畅,结的有些凑韵,读好几遍都没明白因快晴要表达的意思。好觉最后一韵跟主题少关联。个见,仅供参考!期待下期精彩!
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