楼主: 十七
|
古典诗十一期基础第十一讲春组作业贴: |
| ||
| ||
| ||||||
| ||
| ||
点评
问好白莲,起承描写夏雨欲来,描写的很好,但是转句转到夜里有点太快了吧,合句又跑早上,不是一个时间段,感觉转合像流水账,建议再斟酌,个见
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-1-8 11:57 , Processed in 0.149999 second(s), 27 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.