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诗十三初级班第六讲芙蓉组作业贴 |
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点评
平仄正确,韵字无误。老骥伏枥,可喜可贺。作品后两句对不起“正用功”仨字啊,不够专心。而且把小儿写的有些老成,一个“闲敲”棋子,岂是小儿态。后俩句起不到烘托前俩句作用,构思上需多下功夫。
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