楼主: 隐雾枫
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古典词23创作班第一讲绕梁组作业处 |
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点评
问好清香茶韵!迎奏,鼓幡乐,歌舞,连着三句皆是鼓乐琴声,没读出由近及远的声势,稍嫌累赘。歇拍的任不能领后三字句,徐知州?何意?与后的民生民意未能成并列。下片的圆君一梦,君何指?煞尾的阅,三字句再酌,
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