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古典词25创作班第七讲青简组作业处 |
点评
问好拈花!上片上片比下片好。下片三字句承接歇拍,应继续翻香袖,突然的又忆字,阻断了脉络,后面的往事二字可酌。别的都还好。
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|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
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