|
古典诗二十期七律晴组第20讲作业帖 |
点评
简评:这首七律虽格律正确,但脉络不畅,首联与颌联描写不够贴物,如百鸟崇,惊宿雾等。凌云展翅,振翎腾跃语意也重复,俯冲也与鹤不符,休闲与觅食对仗不太工整,尾联一会儿豪情万丈一会儿延年益寿,想说啥呢,有些
| ||
点评
简评:这首七律格律正确,起承转合顺畅,但描写也有些地方不够贴切,振衣、餐霞等
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-8-30 16:24 , Processed in 0.093507 second(s), 20 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.