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词十五初级班第十五讲白石组作业贴,评阅老师:寒月5-18、玫瑰19-32、清幽剩余楼层 |
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上景下情,整体尚好,惟用韵,青玉案宜上去韵,选入声韵显过于压抑
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朴显直,余不言,给个抱抱
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宫阙故国,一下教人穿越了,敢问妹纸是从李煜后宫走来的么?场景杰过大,不知表达主题为何
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