楼主: 竺子小溪
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词十五创作班第十八讲易安组作业贴,同学之间互评(以各组长安排为准) |
点评
简评:此作手法为两开两合,句式组合尚可,脉络较流畅,不足之处二拍皆字,文本叙意单身籍秋引发相思之苦,所以皆字可待斟酌,结拍有字,流年似水大千世界人来人往,啥都缺唯独不缺人,建议此有字加炼!
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