楼主: 诗雨后柳
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古典词十九初级班第六讲折桂组作业 |
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慧眼老师点评:问好学友,晨曦和晓的意思相近,倾是倾向的意思,香山的景物描写过于泛泛,不实之感!结句不错!
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文笔风流,脉络清晰。赞
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读君文笔若听三句半,你开心就好,口语化了
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碧空如洗雁飞南。韵部错误,本字分属覃侵韵,秋光几度鬓霜添。韵部错误,本字属盐韵,夕霞映远帆。(韵部错误,本字分属咸陷韵,,,同学写词还需要努力啊
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