楼主: 诗雨后柳
|
古典词二十初级班沐雪组第十五讲作业贴 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
问好学友,整阙小词一气呵成,用词清新脱俗,赞。唯结句别思长,个人觉得有些断裂,上阙写春光风暖花好,下阙写欲描述春光又怕笔力不逮,整个情绪都是向上的,突然来一个淡淡的忧伤的别思长不知道用意,有违和感
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2024-12-23 05:23 , Processed in 0.142578 second(s), 19 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.