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古典词二十二期初级班第四讲归云组作业贴 |
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点评
春雨竹老师点评:问好嫣然词友此渔歌子·闲居读起来每个句子都无可挑剔,对于小令来说立意语句应放在起句,放在中间有些晚矣,个见哈。
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点评
问候学友,很不错的一首小令,只是三字句意思重叠,稍作修改不失美玉
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