楼主: 幸福丫头
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古典元曲一期小桥组第三讲作业贴 |
点评
问好清音,层次清晰,按照景、事、情地布局,情景交融,赞!“健体强身”意重,“带雨行风”形容跑步的状态,不贴切,加油!
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点评
问好年间,“身擎药壶”建议修改,和“才子”能呼应为好,“满意足”再酌,“谈今论古”建议景结。加油!
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点评
问好修竹,景物有点多,且缺乏层次感。“遁”建议前面先做铺垫,加油!
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