|
古典词十六初级班第六讲竹枝组作业贴 |
点评
问好素女,此词脉络通顺,但在用词上太口语化也太直白了。“煎焦”凑韵了,也不通顺。下片第二句“终将胜利迎朝”中“迎朝”凑韵。
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-10-17 06:38 , Processed in 0.140235 second(s), 21 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.