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古典词23初级班第13讲绕梁组作业处 |
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点评
问好射天狼!首先,貌似格律未自检。景的层次安排得较乱。短墙,乱山,小池塘。过片的古村旁的灯火到底是谁家?翠袖?新妆,在灯下雨里,稍不符常理。文的中心不咋清楚,煞尾回扣雨生凉还好。
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