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词十五初级班第八讲白石组作业贴,评阅老师清幽8-20寒月21-33玫瑰34-剩余楼层 |
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点评
取材倒新,惜用词太白,地沟油当抛却
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点评
单句都可以,合在一起就显得凌乱,跳跃太多联络感差,建议多看讲义,领悟一下结构布局之法。
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