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词十四基础班第八讲画楼组作业贴;评阅老师:单层《润龙》,双层《老油峰》 |
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点评
神马你好,立意不错,下片好于上片,下片那种惆怅失意之情溢于言表。但上片取景有点勉强,两个雨字也重复了,似无必要。总体好!
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