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古典词十八期第六讲青梅组作业贴 |
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老师您辛苦了
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点评
语儿你好,这阕《卜算子*元夕》填的蛮好,上景下情,过片自然。两点小参考:回首去年时,没有点出元宵节日,回首、去年,有一就行,如“去年月夕时”,只有窗前伫。结句:“互祝”改“但送”是否更好些?
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