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古典诗十中级班第十七讲梅组作业贴 | 
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 点评
清风点评:首联直入主题,不错!
颔联以百姓言苦,左右逢源,呵护主题不错!
颈联进一步研磨主题,尾联宕出感慨,起承转合比较成功!
结句比较新颖!加油! 
 
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 点评
——榕树下简评:题目“勉”过于简单,起句物象“花”其实就是情感线,但从整首诗意来看,很难理清脉络,且意抽象难明。其实一个“勉”字,不如写“无题”,还可依内容而论。建议题目重构并围绕主题而写。 
 
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